Toothfairies and Teachers

My life has been a whirlwind of activity lately. There are too many aspects to everything to post about it all, but I'm surprised at the ability for Creation to give me exactly what I ask for. A few months ago, I set out to become a different person. I wanted to work harder, appreciate more, give more of myself than I had previously been accustomed to. It has worked. I am constantly amazed at the efficiency of the universe. :)

I did want to post something that occurred in the past week. My daughter, Shekinah, has figured out the toothfairy tale. She is definitely the age that the questions start, but this little sneaky girl pretended to be asleep while the toothfairy took her tooth and replaced it with money. She went the entire day without mentioning it to anyone, even though her little heart was broken. Once I picked her up from grandma's that night after work, she said
'Mom, I have to talk to you.' - and then the whole innocence in her world spilled out.

She saw dad, switching out her tooth for money that morning, at precisely 6:18 AM. She remembered the moment, the details, the way that her fantasy crumbled. Huge crocodile tears streaming down her face, she said 'That's so mean! You shouldn't lie to your kids'. I did the only thing I could think to do, and that was to just hold her. I put my arms around her, and just held her to my chest. I told her I remembered what it was like when I found out about the toothfairy when I was about her age, and how much it hurt. We just sat there, a couple of crying babies on the couch, clinging to each other.

And then, as suddenly as the tears began, her laughter overpowered it. She is one of the most resilient, creative people I've had the pleasure to know in my life. She looked up to me, tear stained cheeks and all, and said 'Well.... at least one thing is for sure!' 'What's that?' I asked....
'It's EASY to catch the toothfairy!' She beamed, smiling with a new found confidence that comes in waves as we move from child to adult. She's riding that wave now, and said further that she didn't want to tell her other friends the secret about the toothfairy, she wanted to give them time to figure it out.

We spoke about the true magic that is the toothfairy - how it goes so much further than what you 'believe' about it, and that when she grows up she gets to BECOME the toothfairy for her children. That was met with a huge laugh, and an evil snicker - one that told me she was excited about that opportunity. Something to look forward to.

There is a law in nature called the Law of Correspondence. The entire premise of it, is that as things are on one level, they are the same on other levels. That in each level of existence are patterns, part and parcel of one another, that simply shift in levels of function. As above, so below - it is relational, and creates a common thread throughout all of existence.

I sat on the couch in the pyramid later that week - as my master teacher spoke during class. It wasn't so much his words at all, it was more about his Being. I thought of the analogy of the toothfairy, and how our understanding as children is magical and wonderous - and as we grow and gain wisdom and understanding, the idea of that magical, wonderous fairy fades away and we gain a true knowledge that the toothfairy is more real than we ever could have imagined. As above, so below. It hit me at that point, that as the master moves on, so must the students cycle into the realm of master teacher. It is a natural cycle, just as the moon follows the sun. It impacted me so deeply - in ways I haven't even realized yet. I believe that I cried on that couch with my daughter, not only for her pain, but for my own. The pain of realizing that everything changes, everything moves, nothing stays the same. The pain of realizing that my master teacher, whom I subconsiously cling to so strongly will not always be around, and has begun his distancing from us, his students. The pain of realizing that I have to put the two wobbley legs beneath me, and learn to stand on them on my own, I cannot have him carry me much longer. I cried for her pain, and I cried for my own.

Here's to hoping I find that laughter, the freedom, the beauty that my daughter displayed that day.
C

What was I thinking?

Okay - so I realize it's been forever since I posted. My life has gone from the frying pan into the fire. I am utterly, totally, and completely exhausted. My energy stores are wiped out. My entired motivating factors to get up in the morning and go to work, and then run home change my clothes and go to work again, and then come home and crash - have been MAXED. I'm out. I'm tired, and I cannot continue to do this. I'm requesting my hours be cut back at my part time job. I worked almost 40 hours there last week, on top of my 40 hours at my regular job. It's not worth it. My family misses me, and vice versa. My house hasn't been cleaned, and the dishes are piling up. It's time to get this into a balancing act, and fast.

Tonight I work, and will leave a message with the manager - Must only work three nights per week. That's it. No more of this all weekend, every night for weeks crap.

Anyway - aside from that things are well. We're working our way slowly to being on top of things financially. Our daughter is off track for a few weeks, and is helping out at home a lot. I am so proud of her.

More on everything later. Gotta go - plenty of work to do!