Why do I get so upset about food? What is it about the texture and flavor that I feel I’m missing out on that turns me into a raving lunatic? I don’t understand the connection. I feel lost. I feel angry. It’s not fair that I can’t eat anything I want to eat.
Today is a down day. Yesterday, last night specifically was awful. I got so upset that I cried. Tears. Seriously? Tears? I was tired, my body exhausted from the days’ workout, and had eaten little. Going to the grocery store is not a good idea when one is hungry and tired.
I knew behind the upset though, that should I give in and just eat whatever seemed appealing at the time, that I would really regret it later. So I stuck to my program and had an egg white omelet with mushrooms, a touch of onions, and a couple tablespoons of salsa.
I weighed in this morning at a solid 154.8. That reflects NO loss since last week even though I’ve added three extra sessions of cardio this week, eaten extremely clean…. Wait a minute…. There WAS that cheat meal. I had a cheat meal! Is THIS what that cheat meal does? It robs me of loss on the scale, and creates an emotional monster for a few days afterward? I’m stunned right now. It was a piece of pizza, and a piece of garlic bread. I have not eaten anything REMOTELY like pizza and garlic bread for seven straight weeks now. Could THAT be what I’m being mentally bullied and emotionally pushed around by right now?
For years I’ve known that pizza is what many people refer to as a ‘trigger food’ for me. I can’t have just one slice. I can’t stop at just pizza. I crave it, and then that expands into craving other things that I know aren’t good for me. Do I have some kind of sensitivity here that I am only now uncovering? Are there foods that impact your mental and emotional state of being for days on end? I’m seriously baffled here.
For seven weeks I’ve had a mind of steel about my nutrition plan. I haven’t minded the sacrifices I’m making, I’ve been solid on my conviction, I’ve been positive I can do this and I have really stuck to it. It’s been challenging but rewarding the entire time, day after day after day. I’ve been excited with the progress, and proud of my daily victories. Three days ago I scheduled a piece of pizza and very literally my entire mindset came unraveled and I turned into a pile of goo…figuratively speaking.
Maybe pizza really is not worth what it does for me. Maybe I’m starting to see just how deeply it affects me. Maybe I should schedule other foods to indulge in for my cheat meals that aren’t going to throw an entire week out the window. Maybe I should just break up with pizza for good. That’s it, I’m off to the internet to do some research on this potentially hazardous food combination. I’m positive can't be alone here.
Oh yeah - and - to date, 7 weeks in, I've lost 20 pounds with Tony! This is huge. I'll do another post about it later. :)
