Can I Get Fries With That?

Learning more about myself every day.

There are many reasons that I became fat over the years.  I'm still discovering many of those underlying reasons, even though I no longer am that fat, overweight, unhappy woman I once was.  Getting in shape doesn't automatically fix everything in life.  Sure it's great to fit into a pair of jeans I haven't worn since high school, and it never gets old feeling my flat abdomen first thing upon waking, but it doesn't suddenly cover every aspect of my life in rainbows and sunshine.  I digress.

So, since you're dying to know, I discovered today that I, am a hungry individual.

Hungry Defined here as:  –adjective -gri·er, -gri·est.
1. having a desire, craving, or need for food; feeling hunger. 2. strongly or eagerly desirous. 3. lacking needful or desirable elements; not fertile; poor: hungry land. 4. aggressively ambitious or competitive, as from a need to overcome poverty or past defeats: a hungry investment firm looking for wealthy clients.

Well, this explains so much. I have a hard time turning down an inner eagerness; I'm hungry for knowledge, for acceptance, for love, for sex, for accomplishment, for money, for joy, for satisfaction, for happiness, for fulfillment... the list goes on forever and ever.  It's interesting to beging to look at the ways in which I behave when I'm hungry.  Doesn't matter what I may be hungry for.  It used to be cheeseburgers and french fries, once in awhile a bottle of wine.  But now... now I find I'm hungry for different things.

Now I find myself hungry for love. Hungry for passion. Hungry for personal achievement. Hungry for the rush that happens in my body when I've pushed it to the limits I am capable of. I hunger for attention, for affection, for being finally good enough. When these things go unheeded, I tend to find myself in a little temper tantrums... but the clincher is that there NEVER IS AN END to this hunger!!

LIGHTBULB!
This hunger is the unsettling inside. It is never satisfied, never at peace.  It always seeks more, wants more, needs more, clings to the hope of more...all the while squandering what it has. There is never appreciation for the present in that hunger. I'm committed to staring this hunger in the face and being unaffected by it.  It's time for me to grow up and really get present to the joy and perfection in ever moment for EXACTLY what it is, and exactly what it isn't.  I'm ready for my life diet.