My priority

I saw a quote yesterday that has stuck with me since. It read: "Never make somebody else your priority while allowing them to have you as an option." Interestingly enough, I find that's a great rule to live by. I have been co-dependent by nature, my entire life. Starting of course with my parents, then with my friends, then boyfriends, husband, child, co-workers, coach, etc... the list goes on forever. What happens when we cut those ties? What happens to ME outside of, and independent of all of THEM? The larger question begs: WHO AM I, ALONE?

If there is one thing that taking on a body transformation has shown me, it's that I am utterly alone in this lifestlye. It forces me to confront head on and overcome my past. Nobody will do that for me. Nobody, aside from me, can get up in the dark morning hours and lift cold iron methodically, meditatively for myself. It builds strength in bone and tissue and sinew, yes...but also and more prominently, it builds strength where I have been lacking it most - within myself; my character, my mind, my heart. I'm finding that this is a lonely road. But one worth every struggle and effort and grapple.

For now, I work to let go of the old as I nurture and build the new. Slowly, I am learning to stop being needy and dependent upon those that I love and instead open freely my heart, and stand for humanities individuality and freedom: that they may experience the greatest discovery within themselves, independent of me.

Out with the old. In with the new. Inhale. Exhale. Repeat.